introspection, Mindfulness, Society

Moving On and Letting Go

Life lesson: Stop holding onto people who don’t want to be a part of your life, or treat you like garbage. If someone is toxic to your wellbeing, why would you cling to a connection with them? This lesson includes: acquaintances, friends, romantic partners, and family. Toxicity breeds toxicity.

If your intuition is telling you this person is bad news, very often your intuition is correct. Bad treatment is at no fault of yours; however, it does reflect on the psychological health of another person. This is not to say that the person in question is a “bad” person so to speak. It simply means that this person has their own personal issues (or lessons) to work through, and they must work through them alone. You cannot help them.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to fully let someone or something go. The amount of time that you’ve spent on a person or experience means nothing, if it continues to drain you of joy and disrupts your inner peace. This isn’t just a physical detachment, but also a detachment from your psyche. Stop thinking about them, and focus on yourself. Believe it or not, you do have the power to choose your own thoughts.

I notice too often that people of all ages, never fully release certain experiences and people that plague them. Life advice: what is meant for you shall never pass you. If someone or something is meant to be a part of your life, it will be there without any resistance. What is resistance? Resistance is that feeling of doubt, inferiority, or just all around negative energy. Essentially, resistance exhausts you without there being any strenuous physical activity.

The most powerful aspect of detaching from a toxic person or situation is that you have the ability to choose. You can choose to move on. You can choose to let go. You can choose to open your life to people that compliment, and/or add value into your life. You can choose to want better. You can choose to understand that there are much greater things to come. Instead of clinging to that one thing/person, you can choose to trust in the process of life. There is not just one single, defining moment in your life, there are many. People who never fully move on and let go, do not grow into the greatest and best versions of themselves.

Dreams, introspection, Society

The Black Abyss

The phone clicks off, my TV is black, and my laptop sits closed. I stare down at my hands. I am here again. It’s a place that’s dark, and I don’t like it. The darkness drapes over me. It reminds me of: something that I don’t want to see, something I don’t want to feel, something I fear, and something unknown.

Have you ever had a dream where you’re alone walking in the middle of pitch blackness? Or there’s a pitch black room or space of which you are terrified to walk inside? That darkness represents the part of yourself that needs to be brought to light. It is the unexplored terrain. Some Freudians like to call it the subconscious, or Jungians refer to it as the shadow self. The beauty of this dream is that you cannot visibly see anything. Essentially, your mind is alluding to the fact that what you experience in that moment of your dream is something within your unconscious mind.

Most people go their whole lives without ever truly uncovering or exploring who they are. I think that most people have a fear of the dark. The dark is the unknown, and ignorance leads to fear. The universe has a very dark sense of humor; ultimately, you cannot run away from yourself. She’ll drag you through hell and back, until you notice parts of your hidden personality. You can run thousands of miles away from home, and She’ll bring the darkness.

When you think about Plato’s allegorical cave, your perception leads you to believe that light is the truth. However, what this story doesn’t teach is that the light has to come from somewhere. The light has to illuminate the cave. The light uncovers truth, because the darkness is where it begins. The dark cave appears to be symbolic of ignorance and manipulation, but we’ve been deceived.

The most important things that anyone can ever learn are inside that cave. Darkness preludes light. The darkness are those aspects of yourself that you try to hide, but they don’t ever truly disappear.

All rights due to Oussama Zouaimia

Once you have traveled to the furthest and deepest part of the cave, light is simply an instrument to be used. Chasing light is irresponsible. Living a life of light is ignoring everything that you were meant to uncover. Some readers may stop reading at this point, but know that I was once closed off to the idea of a shadow self. I shunned it. I shamed it. I fled from it. I didn’t want to believe that my existence is also contained within a dark essence. The “left-brain-me” blocked my knowledge of understanding true personhood. I was shunning parts of myself. I was attempting to live life by choosing those things that appeared to be truth and goodness. But like I said, the Universe has dark humor.

She will continue bringing you a lesson, until you finally decide to look within yourself and do the work that is needed. The work that needs to be done is in a confined and extremely dim lit space. Once you find it, you grasp a hold of it. Then you pull and pull and pull; sometimes the string seems never ending. Finally, you pull it far enough to where it reaches the light. Then, and only then, do you see it for what it truly is.

Society is fixated on light. It fosters an idea that light is the pinnacle of all existence. I implore you to face that which you fear the most, and try to accept all parts of yourself. Some of what you will find should be purged and destroyed, and others will be some of the best parts about yourself.

Mindfulness

The Infiniteness of Being Present

I notice many are beginning to explore the topic of mindfulness. Not that long ago, I realized that what makes me depressed is thinking of the past. But more than just thinking of the past, I was living in it. Thinking of the past is reflecting upon a memory or reminiscing on an experience. Living in the past is adding a feeling or an emotion to that memory or experience.

Something or someone would trigger a past memory in which I would mentally transport myself backwards through time. Some may say, “but what’s so wrong with the past?” It’s not as if anything is wrong with the past in itself, I have wonderful memories of opening gifts on Christmas, and birthdays at Disney World. The problem with thinking of the past is that I have completely connected my past to emotions/feelings of pain and trauma.

I cannot speak for everyone, but only myself. I have intertwined most of my past with the negative emotions of fear, anger, shame, guilt, sadness, and trauma. I cannot rewire my brain into thinking any differently for those moments that have happened. I was ignorant. I wasn’t aware of life, as I see it now. Life happens through you, not to you.

Most people are taught to live life through these negative and lacking emotions. We must hide who we are, we mustn’t give away too much nor too little, we must be as normal as possible, and so on. A truly fulfilling life cannot be lived by someone inauthentic, or someone who masks who they are in the world. A truly fulfilling life requires an individual to be honest with who and what they are. It requires being freely you.

Another problem with thinking of the past and even the future is that you are taking yourself out of the current experience. When so much of your time is given to events that have occurred and those not yet to come, we lose out on what it means to be actually alive. Being alive is being present.

The only powerful thing that was left for me to do was to begin again. Start over. It means I must forget the past, or at least try to.

Time To Forget
I must forget the past, or at least try to.

Forgetting the past does not give me free reign to make foolish mistakes over and over again. Forgetting the past doesn’t absolve those who have harmed or hurt me in some way or capacity. The mistakes I’ve made and the experiences I’ve had, I’ve learned from them. Forgetting the past helps me move forward into the present time.

The present time is the most essential part of life that anyone has. Being in the present is being who I am. The present doesn’t depend on what I’ve done, who I’ve met, where I’ve been, etc… The present time is endless. I’m not sulking over the past, and I’m not obsessing over the future. I simply am conscious in being in the right here and right now.

The way I see life is from a place of optimism. My glass is half full, and nothing less. Because I have changed how I perceive the world and my experiences, I can look back at these coming years with fondness and pride. I don’t know exactly what’s to come, but I’m excited for what is to come.

The future doesn’t depend on our past, it depends on what you are doing right now. Apply for that position, talk to that cute guy/girl you’ve been crushing on, plan that trip that you’ve been meaning to take, and just get out of your own way.

Society

The Gen Z Crisis: Scratching the Surface

Sometimes those closest to us, encourage us into positions in life that do not warrant any happiness nor joy. Not to say they don’t have your best interests at heart, but they are not you. You are unique; you have your own path. Recognizing the overlapping societal and economic issues that persists, I feel like this post will open up more dialogue amongst generations. Word from the wise: if you wish to work for a living, make sure it’s something that you truly feel inspiration to accomplish.

Gen Z’s are faced with a difficult decision. We can either continue the unmitigated life of living in a 9-5 paradigm, or take a leap of faith and discover living in our passions. Unlike our parent’s generation, we have a completely new frontier that is actually a tool: 21st century technology.

Within our early adulthood, we suffer from thoughts of “finding ourselves,” and from there “finding our desires.” A few common questions that arise are: What is my life’s purpose? What is the next step? What do I want to do for the rest of my life?

First:

1. Realize that life is an ever-changing process.

2. You will not be in the same place or position a year from now.

3. Your life is exactly what you make of it.

As a new university graduate, I have experienced this existential crisis. It was the first time where I had a choice. There were so many options. I finally had a chance to truly think about what I wanted to do in life. In all honesty, it scared me to think that maybe I chose the wrong degree path, or maybe I will make a mistake. However, I knew for certain that I didn’t want to regret my life 10 to 20 years from now.

I believe that it’s imperative for people in their early adulthoods to examine what all they want out of life. We rush the next generations along a path because we believe it will bring them financial stability. Do you want a life that is filled with all that you could ever dream of yourself having? Do you want a life that was fully desired and created by you?

First, I implore you dear reader to imagine your life at least ten years from now. Imagine where you live, what you are wearing, what experiences you’ve had, what you look like, etc. Nothing can be too detailed. Once you have pictured the life you want, work from there. What could you possibly do now that will set you on course for this life? What experiences do you want to have?

I encourage you to start now. Wherever you may be, begin imagining the life you desire. Stand in your beliefs, and work diligently until they have been fulfilled. Be prepared for setbacks and obstacles, and know that you will be successful.

Mindfulness

The Potion of Life

What if I told you that you could have anything that you ever desire?

Your mindset can exponentially effect your life. If you believe in committing to “reality,” and maintaining a belief that “things just don’t work out for me,” well then congratulations because that’s exactly what you will receive. When you truly believe in something, your actions follow. I think that in the course of most people’s lives we come to a mindset of complacency and inadequacy.

We compare our lives to those of others. “Well, it’s not as great as this, but at least it’s not that.” What do you dream of? What is the life you dream of having? I’m a dreamer, so dreams matter to me. Dreams (literal and imaginative) are the foundation of my thoughts, and my beliefs form from them.

Just because things always were a certain way, doesn’t mean that they should remain that way. Life is about change; if you don’t change, you will perish.

In order to complete a portion of my life’s work, I had to travel thousands of miles to a new country and city. It was terrifying. I left behind friends, family, and most importantly my comfort. Coming to Canada was a step outside of my comfort zone, and I knew before I entered the country that it wasn’t going to be easy. However, I remember someone telling me “anything worth doing is never easy.”

So I tell you dear reader, becoming the person that you dream or envision yourself of being is never easy. However, do you step outside of your comfort zone?

This travels beyond physical, but rather your mental capacity. Are you thinking outside of your comfort zone? Do you think differently? When you believe in something, your actions follow. I have to restate this fact, because it’s pertinent in grasping this concept. Once your mindset is improved, you will begin to see life differently. More importantly, this will allow you to recognize how much control you have over your life.

When you are presented with an opportunity, take it. Luck isn’t a genie granting a wish. Rather, it’s more similar to that one opportunity that you decided to take. So I implore you to take this opportunity. Think better thoughts; don’t limit your thoughts. Go out and meet those people, go to that event, take that job offer, be happy, and be at peace. Yes, things do work out for you. You are enough in this life. Whatever thoughts and beliefs that hold you back in life, release them. Exceptional thinking will sow exceptional results.

Take it from me, it will not be easy. In fact, you will have to do much active thinking in order to change. But over time those new and improved thoughts will become your reality. Also, as a reminder remain authentically you because it’s priceless, and you can never be replicated.